Being Mindful of Your Mental Health During COVID-19

The following post was from a talk I prepared for a corporate client who asked me to speak to their 600+ Sub Saharan Africa team earlier this week, so the presentation style may be different to my usual blog posts. I trust the value will still be there!

Stress and anxiety about the spread of the novel coronavirus, coupled with increased social distancing and isolation recommendations, may be affecting your mental health more than you realize.

As we all face uncertainty about the pandemic, there are measures we can take to stay calm. Some of them you may already be doing, some of them may not be relevant, but hopefully there is at least one take home for you (oh sorry, I forgot you are already home :-)) from this session. .

You’ll hear me talking a lot about mindfulness: it is the practice of living each moment as it actually happens, without judging it good or bad, and without trying to push it away (especially if it’s not a pleasant moment).

We can spend a LOT of our time leaning into the future (when lockdown is over… which can be positive or negative) or into the past (feeling sentimental, thinking about how things were, things we miss etc – euphoric recall) – and miss what is actually happening in this moment.

There are gifts that are waiting for us, even if an increased sense of self-awareness through noticing our thought patterns, noticing how we react to this situation, what is important to us, what is not and so on.

With the country rolling out social distancing measures, schools and businesses closing, and companies declaring work from home necessary, we have all been forced to face a new reality.

It’s a golden opportunity to take stock of where we are in our lives, what’s going on, what we want to keep moving forward, and what we want to leave behind. As an introvert, I haven’t struggled as much as some of my more extroverted friends – in some ways I feel as if I’ve been practicing for this my whole life! but it’s by no means as straightforward as missing your friends or feeling content with your own company.

For fun, here is a quick question that may enable you to reflect on how lockdown or social isolating has potentially changed how you see yourself:

Remember, it’s less about what you enjoy and more about what energises or depletes you. As a rule, extroverts tend to be energised more by groups of people and social occasions where introverts feel depleted by them, introverts tend to feel more energised by time alone or quietly at home or with smaller groups of people – neither is right or wrong, and we tend to all be on a spectrum, but this is just an exercise for a purpose of reflection.

Which best describes you?

1) I thought I was an extrovert and lockdown has made me realise I am even more of an extrovert than I thought.

2) I thought I was an extrovert and lockdown has made me realise I am more of an introvert than I thought.

3) I thought I was in introvert and lockdown has made me realise I am even more of an introvert than I thought.

4) I thought I was in introvert and lockdown has made me realise I am more of an extrovert than I thought.

Whether introverted or extroverted, as social beings that typically like to connect and be close to people, we can be experiencing all kinds of feelings of isolation through the enforced behaviour change that lockdown has brought about.

For some, we’re feeling as if life has stopped, or as if our reality has been suspended. Tonight we hear from our president what is going to happen moving forward, but for now I’m going to talk about some ways to keep these times in perspective and learn how to carry on.

Focusing on preparedness, staying calm, reaching out to check on the well-being of others, and self-care will get us through this challenging moment in history. It’s helpful to remind ourselves that COVID-19 is a serious but temporary illness, and that life will return to normal in time.

Here are some tips for making sure you’re taking care of your mental health during the coronavirus disease outbreak.

1) Self-care 101

I’ve put this one right at the top of the list because the rest of the tips are really not going to be that helpful if you’re not getting the absolute basics right. I’m talking about prioritising your sleep, eating healthy, nutrient-dense meals and making sure you get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, plus committing to taking great care – or to learning how to take care – of the subtler aspects of your being, which include your emotional self.

This point on its own is worth an entire blog post, and what is optimal self-care for one person may not be the same for another. But as a rule of thumb, these four things are worth paying specific attention to.

I understand that many people are struggling with sleep at this time of unprecedented uncertainty and fear, so just a few pointers about this: don’t forget to wind down before you get into your bed. Spend at least an hour before bed with the television or your phone turned off, perhaps unwinding with a warm bath or shower, perhaps reading, listening to music or doing some gentle stretches.

A gratitude practice can be a wonderful way of ending the day on a positive note, no matter what it held – journaling a few points that you are grateful for or good things that happened during the day.

And some deep, belly breathing exercises as you lie in bed can be a powerful way of bringing your body and mind into a state of relaxation. Breathing exercises can help with putting you back to sleep again if you wake up in the middle of the night.

Remember, how we breathe is how we think, and vice versa, so by empowering yourself with some simple breathwork exercises, you are taking a bold step towards supporting yourself.

2) Get a grasp on anxiety

Many people with and without anxiety disorders are feeling anxious, experiencing an anticipated worry or rumination about something that might happen in the future. Often we’re alone in our anxiety or rumination but there is something collective going on here – it’s as if our world is feeling a “drumbeat of anxiety” due to the novel coronavirus.

Because the virus is an enemy you can’t see, and not enough people are being tested, we don’t know who carriers are, so we’re likely being hypervigilant about other people and surfaces we’re touching and places we’re going, which makes us more anxious because there is real danger, but the uncertainty and lack of information about the virus causes anxiety. We are both predator and prey in this scenario – capable of hurting others, if we are infected, and in danger of being hurt ourselves, through being exposed to potential carriers. It’s an unusual situation to find ourselves in, and we don’t know how to react.

This is normal: there is no normal way to feel right now, no right or wrong way to be experiencing this: be gentle with yourself. Witnessing others feeling anxious also heightens the worry. Anxiety is contagious. If you see someone near you who is panicking and is saying, ‘The world is coming to an end,’ you may begin to worry because you don’t want to feel like the person who is not worried. You can look to evolution for this mentality.

For example, if a tribe were out in the field and one member saw a lion in the distance and began running, the rest of the tribe would follow suit. We look to others to get cues of how we should behave. While the coronavirus is a real threat, we all need to be in the gray: embrace uncertainty knowing we can’t do everything and move on within in the confines of what the new normal is.

For those living with a mental health condition like depression, anxiety, or PTSD, be mindful of the fact that you may be particularly vulnerable during this pandemic. I suggest staying very vigilant about taking your medication, maintaining virtual therapy or check ins with your therapist, making sure you fill your prescriptions for the month. This way you can stay safe and continue addressing your treatment — and address any concerns that arise from COVID-19.

Discuss your fears with someone you trust – if you are feeling anxious or worried about the coronavirus then it can be good to get someone else’s point of view. Think about who you speak to - speaking to someone else who is struggling might not be best. Find somewhere quiet where you can sit down and chat openly and honestly about your feelings and your concerns.

It is easy to get overwhelmed in our own pattern of negative thoughts, so talking these though can help break those cycles. If your pandemic concerns are difficult to manage, I would suggest creating an emergency plan with your mental health professional or one of the many helplines out there.

Notice what anxiety feels like for you. Where do you hold it? How does it affect your breathing? How can you change it? Are you able to soften into your body and breath and this moment, and the next?

Breathwork and meditation are two powerful tools to become aware of these patterns – also the pattern of our thoughts (join my free morning meditation sittings on Instagram @metta365_coach)

3) Be angry, then practical

A number of my clients are expressing anger, even those that tend to be calm. This is interesting because it is one of the typical stages of grief – almost as if we’re grieving our ‘normal life’.

The stages are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, and whilst they are rarely linear, they tend to form a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one / a situation we have lost. Knowing what these stages are can be helpful to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling.

While the situation is frustrating, and anger is normal, I would invite you to only allow yourself 15 minutes of anger per day, and then move on. Not thinking of it as doomsday, but as finding a new normal.

You are all intelligent, competent, high functioning adults – capable of reframing your thought processes, especially if they’re not serving you or keeping you trapped in a cycle of negative energy or anger. Asking yourself ‘How do I want to live my life right now with these constraints?’

I understand that thinking positively during a disaster is easier said than done, but it’s worth putting some effort in to do so, even if it’s a case of faking it till you make it.

A fake smile and a fake laugh produce real endorphins – so you can actually change your physiological process by even acting happy. Acting angry does the opposite, so choose wisely.

4) Avoid panic-mongering

We all have those friends that are obsessed with sending us the doom-and-gloom messages. The relentless updates on death toll and infections and the lack of testing and the impact on our economy and the futility of the steps that have been taken – and so on.

Be selective in terms of how you gather information, keep yourself informed, and be mindful about what you consume, when, and how.

One of the best ways is to ground yourself in science.

Stay connected to one or two reliable sources of information – a person or a platform (BBC, or eNCA, or a local or state health department for information, for example.

Avoid watching or reading news or social media, where facts can become blurred or even exaggerated.

Remind yourself that infectious disease outbreaks have been part of our history, and this too shall pass.

And limit it to what you can manage: perhaps twice a day, morning and evening. Set a time, and stick to it.

Unfollow accounts or mute friends that are thriving on the drama. You can always follow them again when things settle down. Both Facebook and Twitter have the ability to mute users. If someone you follow is sharing updates that make you feel uneasy or sharing misinformation, then mute them. Muting someone doesn’t mean you have to unfollow them but it does mean you don’t see their posts for a while - and they won’t be notified that you have done this.

That said: what worked before may not work now, so see whether you can accept that new norms can change every day, so you can say, ‘Every day I’ll limit my news to a half hour in morning and in the evening to see if there is anything I need to change about my behaviour.’

5) Find ways to stay busy

Keeping a routine is important for adults and kids who are confined to their home. Try to stick to your normal routine as much as possible.

Keep the same bedtime and same awake time.

Get dressed in clothes you’d work in.

Do exercise.

Eat at regular times.

Draw up a list of fun things that you can do during down-time: board games, puzzles, pamper sessions. And then choose three – or two – or even one - to do each day.

Delegate cleaning duties if you live with people: devise a reward scheme (Coronabucks – earn privileges e.g. having the TV remote, drinking the last beer etc)

6) Find time to connect

Make it a part of your daily routine to reach out to friends and family. Make sure you call, text, FaceTime, or Skype daily with others.

During traumatic times, having a sense of connection and a feeling of community is essential for hope and healing.

Be mindful of who you are connecting with though!

And because fun, meaningful experiences reduce the stress hormone cortisol and raise feel-good hormones like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, experts suggest adding humour to your day by reading cartoonists or watching funny movies and comedy shows.

Whilst this is serious, it can’t be all doom and gloom. Laughing about the situation doesn’t hurt anyone and shows that we’re all in this together.

For parents: If you have children, be sure to limit their exposure to the news because it can be overwhelming for them to process. Being mindful about how you talk about COVID19 around children is important, too.

Oversharing, ‘catastrophizing,’ and even joking about death or sickness can traumatize little ones. While this can be a scary time for kids, it could also be viewed as a moment in history that can reach and teach.

I’ve been encouraging my children to see how we really are just one big family. Point out the good things: that there are ‘helpers’ are everywhere, and how communities are rallying together during this difficult time.

Being cared for, protected, and loved are crucial things for children to feel and hear during disaster. Another tip is to encourage children to draw, write, or journal so they can express their feelings.

And finally, keeping a routine for kids is always helpful during a crisis. Something that stresses YOU as parent the least and gives them structure to their lives that have also been turned upside down.

In closing: this is by no means a comprehensive list and each point on its own could be discussed in a huge amount of detail. But given our time constraints, I trust that this is helpful and that you feel more empowered to take good care of yourself during lockdown and beyond.

Questions? Comments? I’d love to hear from you.

nicci@metta365.com

Stay safe, stay home

Sending metta

Nicci

I quote extensively from a number of sources inlcuding the WHO: read the original articles here, here and here.